Is It Just Back-to-School Stress? What Parents Should Watch for in Their Teen

Back-to-school stress is normal…right?

A new school year can bring a lot of changes for teens. New teachers, new classes, homework, friendships, sports, activities, and the pressure to do well can all add up. Some stress is expected. Your teen might be more tired, a little irritable, or nervous about getting back into a routine.

But when should parents start paying closer attention?

Normal stress in teens can look like worrying about an upcoming sports event, feeling nervous about giving a presentation, or being concerned about how they present themselves to others. These feelings are usually connected to something specific and may get better once that situation has passed. Things may feel different when that stress becomes more frequent, lasts longer, or starts affecting their daily well being. For example, they may begin worrying about several things at once, struggling with their grades, isolating themselves from friends and family, or having difficulty enjoying things they normally do.

Look for changes, not just bad days

One rough day doesn't necessarily mean your teen is struggling. Instead, pay attention to patterns and changes from their normal behavior.

Some things to watch for:

• Pulling away from friends or family

• Major changes in sleep

• Losing interest in things they usually enjoy

• Increased irritability, anger, or shutting down

• Suddenly struggling with school

• Constantly worrying or feeling overwhelmed

• Avoiding school or activities

  
  

Your teen may not come right out and say, “I'm struggling.” Sometimes it can show up through their behavior instead.

Working with teens, I’ve noticed they are going through so many changes at once, especially when transitioning to high school, choosing courses, and beginning to think about their future. They may also be balancing extracurricular activities, a job, involvement in a church community, sports or training, friendships, or intimate relationships, all while trying to manage the expectations that come with being a teenager. With so much going on, all of these things can add to their stress and anxiety. Sometimes you may notice it in the way they behave, communicate, or interact with the people around them.

So, how can parents help?

You don't always need to have the perfect answer. Sometimes your teen needs you to listen before you try to fix the problem.

Instead of:

“What's wrong with you?”

Try:

“You've seemed a little overwhelmed lately. How are things going?”

Instead of immediately focusing on grades, ask:

“What's been the hardest part of school so far?”

Give them space to talk, even if they don't open up right away. Sometimes simply knowing that you're available when they're ready can make a difference.

I recommend having mini check-ins with your teen throughout the school year to see how they’re doing. Try not to assume you already know what they’re going through. Instead, stay curious and ask questions if you want to understand more, while making sure they feel safe and not judged for what they’re experiencing. Remember, you were once a teenager too. Their experiences may look different from what you went through, but recognizing that what they’re struggling with matters can go a long way. Sometimes, they may simply need to know that they have your support.

When should you reach out for help?

You do not have to wait until your teen is in crisis to reach out for support. If you notice changes in their mood or behavior that continue or begin affecting school, friendships, family relationships, or their daily life, it may be worth talking with a mental health professional. You know your teen best, so if something feels different or you are becoming increasingly concerned, it is okay to ask for support.

Reaching out for help can feel like a big step, especially when you are worried about your teen. As a therapist, I strive to create a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental space where teens can feel comfortable being themselves and talking about what they are going through. If you are a parent watching your teen struggle, it is okay to feel worried, and it is okay to ask for help. You do not have to figure it all out on your own.